The Wrong Adventures of Wind Waker
by Chaos20
Summary: My first attempt at a fanfic. It's basically about Wind Waker gone wrong. Please R&R! Chapter 4 is up!
1. When Giant Birds Attack

Disclaimer: I don't own Loz. Not even Tingle *shudders at the thought*.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************************* *Aryll comes out of Grandma's House and walks to the watch tower and climbs up it*  
  
Aryll: Wake up!  
  
Link: zzzzzzzzz  
  
Aryll: *smashes Links head with her telescope*  
  
Link:.....*10 seconds later* OW! That hurt!!!!  
  
Aryll: You know it's your birthday today.  
  
Link: Really!?! How old am I?  
  
Aryll: .....  
  
Link: Oh yeah! I'm uh.4 years old!  
  
Aryll: ..right.here's my telescope that I'm going to give you for no apparent reason at all.  
  
Link: *holds it up so everyone in the world can see how shiny it is* Shiny....  
  
Aryll: Grandma wants you.  
  
Link: Ok. *walks toward ladder but trips over it and falls face first on the dock* owwwww.I'm ok.*goes to Grandma's House and goes inside* Hey Grandma! What's cookin?  
  
Grandma: Brains!!! *laughs maniacally*  
  
Link: You make the best brains Grandma!  
  
Grandma: Here, have a sample heh heh heh. *sharp toothed evil grin appears on her face*  
  
Link: *eats it* Yummy!  
  
Grandma: Here's some clothing I knitted for you the other day. It will be your brain eating suit when you eat brains!!! *cackles*  
  
Link: Holds clothes up to show how shiny they are*  
  
Grandma: Go and get your sister so she too can taste the goodness of brain cells *laughs mainiacally again*  
  
Link: Ok! *walks out of Grandma's house, goes to the watch tower and climbs up it*  
  
Aryll: *with a shotgun* Die you stupid seagulls!  
  
Link: Grandma wants you to try her world famous fried brains.  
  
Aryll: Not now! I must get rid of these pesky seagulls! *shoots one of them and explodes into feathers and blood*  
  
Link: *with blood and feathers on him* Nice.  
  
Aryll: Look through my telescope so you can spot anymore annoying seagulls.  
  
Link: How do you look through the Telescope?  
  
Aryll:........put it up to one eye and look through it.  
  
Link: Ohhhhhh, so that's how you look through a Telescope. *gets out Telescope and follows instructions Aryll gave him.* *gasp* I-I can see farther than I used to!!!!!!  
  
Aryll: ........  
  
Link: Hey, there's a bird thing over by the mailbox!  
  
Aryll: Ok. *shoots postman dead*  
  
Link: *looks way up* Hey, a gigantimous bird!!!!!!!  
  
Aryll: *looks up and fires at the gigantimous bird and kills it*  
  
Link: OOOOOOOH, a hot girl falling out of the sky.!!!! My dreams have come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Aryll: Wouldn't it be a good idea to go and save her?  
  
Link: Ok....how do I do that?  
  
Aryll: Well, you'll need a sword.  
  
Link: And where do I get a sword?  
  
Aryll: ....Orca's house.  
  
Link: Ok. *goes toward the ladder but trips over it and falls in the water* I'm ok! *walks to Orca's house and goes inside*  
  
Orca: *drunk* Ahhhh, Billy. *walks toward Link drunkenly* Here's a sword I'm giving you because I just want to. *gives Link the sword and falls asleep standing up*  
  
Link: *holds up the sword so the world can see more shininess* *goes out of Orca's house and walks to the forest*  
  
*inside the forest*  
  
Link: *eerie music starts playing* Creepy. *spots a Bokoblin digging up it's butt* Ewwwwwww, what are you doing?!?!?!?  
  
Bokoblin: Cleaning my butt out what does it look like? *holds up hand to show shit on it*  
  
Link: Oh my God. *pukes* You shall pay for disgusting me like that! *kills Bokoblin*  
  
Bokoblin: I hate you.*disappears in a puff of purple smoke*  
  
Tetra: *wakes up* What the.*branch breaks and she falls on the ground* owwwwwwww.  
  
Link: *goes up to her and stares at her*  
  
Tetra: *gets up* What are you staring at?  
  
Link: *starts drooling*  
  
Gonzo: *comes into the forest* Miss!!!  
  
Tetra: I'm over here!  
  
Gonzo: Oh thank goodness! Uhhhhhh, what's with the freak in the green clothes?  
  
Tetra: I don't know. Do something about him!  
  
Gonzo: *picks up Link and throws him across his shoulder and walks out of the cave with Tetra*  
  
Aryll: *on the other side of the bridge* Link! Grandma wants you to come home for dinner! We're having brain casserole! And who are those people?  
  
Link: *wakes up from trance* Huh? I'll be over there soon. Oh, and can you put me down?  
  
Gonzo: *puts Link down and stares at him questionably*  
  
Aryll: You were in the forest for a while ya know.*eyes widen* Link!!! You know you're not old enough to do that kind of stuff!!!!! *starts running across bridge with shotgun in hand* * giant bird comes and grabs her* What the hell? Put me down! Wait a minute.didn't I kill you?  
  
Giant Bird: Plothole. *flies off*  
  
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *runs off cliff and trys to fly but ends up falling onto the rocks below*  
  
Gonzo: Why didn't you save him? You were right there.  
  
Tetra: He's a dumbass, that's why.  
  
Gonzo: Oh.  
  
*later*  
  
Link: *covered in scratches and bruises and in bandages* Please, please, PLEASE can I go with you guys?  
  
Tetra: For the last time NO!  
  
Quill: *flies in* Well he should!  
  
Link: Didn't Aryll kill you a while ago?  
  
Quill: Plothole.  
  
Link: Oh.  
  
Quill: Well he should go with you guys because he's gonna become the Hero of Winds and he's gonna kill Ganondorf!  
  
Tetra: How do you know?  
  
Quill: It's in the script. You have one don't you?  
  
Tetra: Yeah. *gets it out and scans over it* Alright. But he's gonna need a shield. So go get one.  
  
Link: Ok. *goes to Grandma's house and goes inside*  
  
Grandma: Ah. Your just in time for dinner. We're having brain casserole! *laughs evilly*  
  
Link: Can I borrow the family shield so I can shield myself from badguys and other dangers?  
  
Grandma: Sure. Here you go.  
  
Link: *holds up shield to the world to show how shiny it is* I'm not hungry, can I go back outside?  
  
Grandma: Go ahead! More brain casserole for me! *laughs maniacally*  
  
Link: Ok. *walks outside and back to the ship* *Tetra and Gonzo and Quill are playing Spades*  
  
Quill: Yes!!!  
  
Tetra: Come on! Quit reeling in those books!  
  
Link: I'm back!  
  
Tetra: Took you long enough.  
  
Link: Now can I go?  
  
Tetra: Yeah yeah.  
  
Link: YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! *does the Macarana*  
  
Everyone:...........  
  
*later on the ship*  
  
Tetra: Set sail! *sails go up and they set sail*  
  
Link: *already bored* I'm bored.  
  
Tetra: Go below deck and talk to Niko. He'll find you something to do.  
  
Link: Ok! *goes below deck*  
  
Niko: You must be our new swabbie!  
  
Link: O.o  
  
Niko: .....Ok, just jump across these platforms that I'm gonna put up. *jumps on a switch to make platforms come up and jumps across to the other side* Alright, start  
  
Link: This will take too long. *dimension hole appears beside him and he reaches in to find a jetpack* Mwahahahahahaha.*puts on jetpack and flies through the door, crashing into Niko and into the wall* I'm ok.  
  
Niko: Owwwwwwwww..*falls unconscious*  
  
Link: Hey a treasure chest! *opens it and gets the spoils bag* *holds it up for the world to see*  
  
Tetra: Link! We're at the Forsaken Fortress!  
  
Link: *goes above deck and goes up to the crows nest* How do you know I'm supposed to go Forsaken Fortress?  
  
Tetra: The script.  
  
Link: Oh.  
  
Tetra: Hey, could you get into this barrel on the catapult?  
  
Link: Whatever. *gets into barrel*  
  
Tetra: Ok! *evil grin appears on face* 3, 2, 1, FIRE!!!!!!  
  
Link: Fire??? Where????? *gets shot to the Forsaken Fortress* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! *crashes into wall and sword falls out of it's sheath* owwwwwwww..I'm ok.*falls into the water below and swims to shore* Wow, my first dungeon.well, better get started.  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************************  
  
So? What did ya think? I think it was a pretty good fanfic. So, please send in nice reviews! Chapter 2 will be up sometime later. 


	2. The long, boring climb in Forsaken Fortr...

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda. Otherwise, I'd be so rich, um.yeah, I'd be rich.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Link: *still in Forsaken Fortress* *starts to walk up stairs when a noise sounds* Who's there.! It doesn't happen to be...you! *points at rat*  
  
Rat: Uh, no. I'm just here for comedy relief. Hey, can I have some rupees?  
  
Link: Sure. *tosses rat a silver rupee*  
  
Rat: Thanks! (sucker) *runs off*  
  
Link: *sound comes again* Hey! It sounds like it's coming from one of my many pockets! *reaches into one of his many pockets to find a blue stone*  
  
Tetra: Took you long enough.  
  
Link: *gasp* A t-t-talking stone!!! What does it feel like to be a stone Mr. Stone?  
  
Tetra:.....It's me Tetra you idiot!  
  
Link: Wha? How can you fit in this teeny weeny stone?  
  
Tetra: *sigh* Nevermind. Ok, I kinda missed the little window up there you supposed to go through to rescue your sister. Sooooo, guess you hafta climb up there yourself.  
  
Link: But, that will take forever.  
  
Tetra: Oh well.see ya!  
  
Link: *puts stone back in pocket and starts grumbling, but then notices the spotlights* Huh? A show!!!! I wanna perform!!!!! *runs toward the spotlight but stops short to see a shadow that looks like something* Wha.? *looks up and spots a bokoblin making hand puppets*  
  
Bokoblin: *yelling to Link* Betcha can't guess what this is! *makes a shadow puppet*  
  
Link: Uhhhhhhhh.....OH MY GOD!!!!!! You're so sick!!!!! I shall destroy everyone of these spotlight station thingies right now!!! *dimension hole appears beside Link and then he pulls out a bazooka* *evil grin appears on his face* *his voice changes into Arnold Scharzennager's* Astalavista, baby.*fires rockets at all spotlight station thingies and they blow up along with the bokoblins* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Cool.*goes through the whole fortress defeating everything and crap*  
  
*still inside*  
  
Link: *to Moblin* Hey Mr. Pig Who Walks On His Hind Legs And Wears Clothes And Carries A Scary Looking Spear Around, would you be my bodyguard for the rest of this dungeon? I'll give you a cookie.  
  
Moblin: *frowns at Link* No way.  
  
Link: *sigh* Ok.a cookie AND a muffin.  
  
Moblin: *grins* OK!!!!!!  
  
Link: Ok. Come my loyal servant! *Link and his fellow Moblin go around the fortress defeating more crap until they come to the cell where Aryll is being held* Thanks for being my bodyguard! *kills Moblin*  
  
Moblin: Hey! Where's my cookie and muffin?  
  
Link: *shrugs* oh well.  
  
Moblin: Doh! *disappears in purple smoke*  
  
Aryll: *in cell* took you long enough  
  
Rich Girl: Hurry and get me out of here! I don't think I can take much more of these rupee stealing rats! *same rat from the beginning from Forsaken Fortress shows up in a mini limousine that is the right size for a rat*  
  
Rat: What are you talking bout? We're generous and giving rats! *sees Link about to eat a cookie* Gimme that! *uses an extendable arm reach to grab the cookie from Links hand* What'd I tell ya? *eats cookie* Well bye! *drives off*  
  
Link: ........*breaks down in tears*  
  
Poor Girl: *stealing rupees from rich girls dress* I'm generous and giving too.  
  
Aryll: Well, that sure was random...hey Link, the giant bird is hovering over your head.  
  
Link: Huh? *looks up* Uh.heh heh.want a cookie.?  
  
Giant Bird: *shakes head, then grabs Link*  
  
Link: ......*10 seconds later after realizing the situation* GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put me down!!!! *giant bird takes Link to the top of Forsaken Fortress* *a man in a dark cloak is up on the boat thingie* Hey, who's that? Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! It's Ganondork!!!!!!  
  
Ganondorf: That's not my name!!!! It's Ganondorf!!!!! *eyes widen then covers his mouth*  
  
Link: Hey! I wasn't supposed to know that till I got to Windfall Island!  
  
Ganondorf: Oh well.throw him into the ocean giant bird thingie.  
  
Giant Bird: *nods head then throws Link far away into the ocean*  
  
Link: Hey! I don't know how to swim! Wait until I get over there I'll- *is too far to be heard* *What Link was about to say* I'll go take a crap on your head and fart in your face and do all sorts of terrible things like that!  
  
*at Windfall island*  
  
Voice: Link! Wake up!  
  
Link: zzzzzzzzz *is sleeping in a boat*  
  
Voice: Wake up you idiot!!!!  
  
Link: zzzzzz.no Grandma.I don't wanna donate my brain.*snort* zzzzzzzzz  
  
Voice: Link! I have honeybuns!  
  
Link: *snort* HONEYBUNS!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHERE???????  
  
Voice: There is none.  
  
Link: Oh.hey who are you anyway?  
  
Voice: I'm the King of Red Lions. *head on the boat turns around*  
  
Link: Gah! Dragonhead! Get it away!  
  
King: ....I'm supposed to help you.  
  
Link: Oh.  
  
King: Ok. I got to tell this boring story you wouldn't really care about. Alright, here's how it goes.*6 hours later* And that's what happened *yawn*  
  
Link: zzzzzzzz.*snort* Huh? Is it over?  
  
King: Yeah. Now go find me a sail.zzzzzzzzzz  
  
Link: Ok.where am I anyway?  
  
King: zzzzzzzzz.Windfall Island.zzzzzzzzzz  
  
Link: Oh.cool.*walks around town looking for a sail when he finds a jail room* What's in here? Goes through door to find a cell* A guy in green clothes iis in there* Who are you?  
  
Person: *jumps up from stool* Why, I'm Tingle Mr. Fairy!  
  
Link: Aren't you that gay dude on Majora's Mask? And why did you call me "Mr. Fairy"?  
  
Tingle: No. And I called you that because you're a fairy!  
  
Link:....k....are you related to that Tingle guy?  
  
Tingle: Yes. And I'm as gay as him!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! *opens cell door* Let's make out Mr. Fairy!  
  
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breaths* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo o........*cough* *slashes Tingle back into jail cell making him unconscious* *takes out bazooka and blows the whole jail cell up* Whew.*starts to look for a sail some more until he meets an eskimo*  
  
Eskimo: Dear me, hello! My name is Zunari and I run the Open-Air Shop! And dear me you have the strangest clothes!  
  
Link: Uh-huh.you don't, by any chance, have a sail I could buy.  
  
Zunari: Why yes, yes I do! The price is..80 rupees!  
  
Link:......Give me a gigantic discount on it and I won't hurt you.  
  
Zunari: Dear me, no deal then!  
  
Link: Grrrrrrrrr..*slashes Zunari in half and steals his sail* *goes back to King* Hey King I got the sail!  
  
King: Mmmmmmm.cherry pie.*snort* Huh? Oh, ok.hop in and let's go to Dragon Roost Island then.  
  
Link: Ok. *puts up sail and starts to go to Dragon Roost Island*  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- The end of chapter two! Yay!  
  
Link: Uh, Chaos.don't put in that Tingle guy in later chapters please.  
  
Ultimatechaos: Yeah, suuuuuuuurrre *evil grin appears on face* 


	3. Arrival at Dragon Roost Island

Sorry it took so long to update. Heh. Well, here's another chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah don't own Zelda blah blah blah.  
  
Link: *at Dragon Roost Island* Ewwwww! I'm all wet and salty and I smell weird!  
  
King: Well get used to it. Alright, here's a stick thing I'm gonna give you that's called the Wind Waker. So here you go.  
  
Link: *more shininess* Stop with the shininess! It's too much!  
  
King: .........ok, here's an instruction manual so you can use the Wind Waker. *throws a gigantic book on top of Link and goes to sleep*  
  
Link: Ow...I don't have time to read this right now! I'll figure it out on my own...I hope...*throws book into the sea* Hey! A tunnel! Wonder where it leads.*goes through the tunnel and swims to a small island with blue monuments on it* *one of them is broken* This is weird.what's this? *looks at unbroken monument* Looks like directions of some kind.maybe for the Wind Waker. *gets it out and waves the baton in the directions the directions give him* Hey! I learned the Wind's Requiem! I wonder how I knew it.*frog comes up smoking a cigar*  
  
Frog: *speaks like a gangster* Yeah, nice wind blowin see? Hey kid, my name's Cyclos and I'm one of the Wind Gods.  
  
Link: Yeah hey.  
  
Cyclos: You see that monument over there that's broken? It's my brother's, and he went mad over it. Could ya calm down for me?  
  
Link: Uh, sure.I guess.  
  
Cyclos: Thanks kid! *flys off*  
  
Link: Ok, that was weird.*goes back through the tunnel and finds a bomb plant* That sure is an ugly plant.gotta get rid of it. *slashes at it and it blows up in his face sending him flying across the island landing in the sea* Owwwww...my face...*goes back up to the bomb plant* *picks it and throws it into the sea* *grows back* O.o...*shrugs* *walks up the path to the Rito Village and comes upon Quill reading the script to the game*  
  
Quill: And Link should be riiiiiiight, there! *points at Link*  
  
Link: ...  
  
Quill: ...Heh, sorry. Alright, I gotta talk to you real quick, cause the script says.  
  
Link: You depend on the script too much...wait, I do to. Nevermind...  
  
Quill: Ok, let me speak now. *starts talking for eternity until he gets tired of talking and goes to sleep* zzzzzzzzz......  
  
Link: *snapping out of staring into space* Whoa, that seemed only 30 seconds.....cool...*walks into Rito Village to be greeted by the Hippy Cheiftain*  
  
Cheiftain: What's up brother? Welcome to the Land of the Hippy Ritos. Would you like to have a bracelet called the Bracelet of Love?  
  
Link: Uh, no thanks.  
  
Cheiftain: That's ok man. Hey, brother. We have a problem with our dragon of the skies, Valoo. He's mad about who knows what, and he won't let anybody near him. Also, my hippin son, Komali, has been feelin down since his grandmother died. Could you go and see Medli and she'll give you a letter to take down to my son. Well, brother, I gotta go. I have a meeting with the other hippies in Hyrule. See ya. *walks out of the entrance Link went through*  
  
Link: O...K...Well, better go see Medli. *walks up a ramp and goes into a doorway to find Medli* Are you Medli?  
  
Medli: Yeah...  
  
Link: I need a letter for Komali from his dad.  
  
Meldi: Ok here you go...*gives Link letter*  
  
Link: *holds up letter but doesn't shine* What???? No shine??? WHY?????????????.........Oh well...*goes to Komali's room which took five hours to find* *goes to Komali who's on his bed putting his eyes against the glowing orange sphere*  
  
Komali: Shiny.................  
  
Link: Uhhhhhh......I have a letter for your dad.  
  
Komali: Shiny.................  
  
Link: .........Let me read it then. *reads letter with difficulty and finishes the short letter in an hour* Alright, well bye...*decides to go ahead to fix the problem with Valoo* *goes to the path that leads to Dragon Roost Cavern and is almost blown away by the wind* Wow, I thought the weather man was always right. He didn't say for gusty days or didn't say it was going to be 120 degrees F. Oh well. Why's Medli down in the pit? *jumps down in the pit* Medli, why are you in the pit doing nothing but staring at the wall?  
  
Medli: I don't know. But I'm gonna solve the problem of Valoo before you do.  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Medli: Because I wanna be the heroin. Hey, could you do me a favor?  
  
Link: Sure.  
  
Medli: Could you throw me up to that ledge that leads to Dragon Roost Caverns?  
  
Link: Uh, ok. *throws Medli to the ledge*  
  
Medli: Thanks! Here's a present I'm gonna give you that I found in the trash the other day. *tosses bottle to Link*  
  
Link: *holds it up* *gasp* The shininess returns!!!!!  
  
Meldi: Well, I'll go and fix the problem. See ya! *runs into Dragon Roost Cavern*  
  
Link: Ha! I'll solve that problem before she does! *pulls out Gameshark and Gameshark Code Book* *types in a code* MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! *warps to the boss* Yeah! Cool...*lava in the room rises and a monster comes out* AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Giant evil lava centipede!!!!!!! Get it away!!!!!  
  
Gohma: Just fight me...  
  
Link: Ok. *fights boss and kills it*  
  
Gohma: Hey, no fair. You killed me. *blows up*  
  
Link: YEAH! *does the monkey* *Heart Container appears* Ooooooooh, shiny looking...*grabs it* So much shiny!!!!!!! *goes to whirlwind thing and warps outside* Cool...  
  
Medli: *who was out there waiting for him* How did you finish the stuff before me???????  
  
Link: I forgot how I did it...  
  
Komali: *looking at Link* Here's the shiny orb I'm giving you because the script says...*gives Link shiny orb*  
  
Link: *holds up orb* GAH! It's too shiny!!!!!!!!!! *blinds Link for a few seconds*  
  
Komali: *bursts into tears and goes back to the Rito Village*  
  
Medli: Ok, that was weird...*runs after Komali*  
  
Link: *goes to King* I'm ready to go now!  
  
King: So many pies, so little time...*snort* Huh? Oh, let's go to Forest Haven then...  
  
Link: Ok. *gets into ship and starts sailing when a fish stops him*  
  
Fish: Hey small fry! The script says I gotta paint an island on your sea chart. So let me!  
  
Link: Whatever...*lets fish paint sea chart*  
  
Fish: Thanks small fry! And I gotta tell ya some secret info I got...*tells secret info* Ok, well bye! *swims away*  
  
Link: O...K...*starts sailing again*  
  
That was pretty short but it was ok. I'm not gonna be updating at all next week because I'm going on vacation. Yay for me! So don't expect any new chapters until the next week. 


	4. A waste of time in the Forbidden Woods

Disclaimer: Don't…own…Zelda…*faints*  
  
Link: *at Forest Haven* Why couldn't you be a flying boat………? I hate getting all wet………  
  
King: Too bad. Now go see the Deku Tree. *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*…………  
  
Link: Whatever………huh? What kinda plant is that? *walks over to a bud* Pretty………*stares at it* *plant pops up hitting Link* OW!!!! That hurt!!! *looks over at plant* You shall pay………*slashes plant and kills it* Mwahahahahaha………*walks up path to Deku Tree and goes into a cave inside the giant tree* *walks through water until he gets to a giant tree with a face that's sleeping* Weird………*blobs appear on trees face*  
  
Tree: *wakes up* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET 'EM OFF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A TALKING TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T WORRY MR. TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SHALL SAVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *rams into tree making blobs fall off*  
  
Tree: *still panicking* OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *kills blobs* OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tree: CAN WE STOP SHOUTING NOW?!?!?!?!  
  
Link: I THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tree: Ok.  
  
Link: Are you the Deku Tree?  
  
Deku Tree: Yeah.  
  
Link: Can you give me a pearl that weird dude gave me on Dragon Roost Island? *plothole appears*  
  
Komali: I resent that! *goes back into plothole and plothole disappears*  
  
Deku Tree: Sure. *gives Link pearl*  
  
Link: *holds it up* It's as shiny as the other one! Hey, wait a minute………weren't you supposed to give me the pearl after I beat Forbidden Woods?  
  
Deku Tree: Yeah, but I'm too lazy to wait. But, you could go there anyway if you want.  
  
Link: Uhhhhhhhh, ok. Hey, where are the Koroks?  
  
Deku Tree: *burp* I don't know………  
  
Link: Ok. *gets out Gameshark and Code Book* I love Gameshark………*types in code but then Gameshark malfunctions* Oh boy………*warps to beginning of Forbidden Woods* *grumbles* I hate Gameshark………*goes through Forbidden Woods while having a very hard time with one eyed pinecones, gigantic moths (he had bug spray, so don't worry), rabid Venus Fly Traps, and the freaky green blobs* *finally gets to the boss* Whoa, a gigantimous flower. I think I'll walk in it. *walks in it*  
  
Kalle Demos: Mwahahahahahaha!!!! You can't defeat me. I know you can't.  
  
Link: *looks around until he sees the head* GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A TALKING FLOWER HEAD THINGY!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs around screaming like a girl*  
  
Kalle Demos: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………Can we fight now…………?  
  
Link: *stops running* Sure, why not. *starts fighting but game pauses* What the……………can't ………move………what's the deal?  
  
Person controlling Link: Bathroom break………*footsteps sound*  
  
Link: *sigh* I had to be inside the flower staring at this ugly face real close up………  
  
Kalle Demos: I hate you………  
  
Link: Me too………me too………*an hour passes* And she can be real creepy when she starts cooking the brains. She has this evil look in her eye and starts wringing her hands together. Then she starts cackling all creepy like. It's creepy! Real creepy!!!  
  
Kalle Demos: That's nothing. My grandma cooks plant juices and makes them into a soup. You know what's creepier………she acts normal when she cooks it. Even when she's cutting up the plants………  
  
PCL: Ok, I'm back.  
  
Link: What took you?  
  
PCL: Diareea………  
  
Link: Shouldn't have asked………*game unpauses* I'm tired, I don't wanna fight. And I gotta cramp. *goes to sleep*  
  
KD: Me too!  
  
Link: No you don't………*takes out bazooka and blows up KD* Must sleep………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*three hours later* *wakes up* OK, I'm all rested up………*goes to whirlwind and warps outside to King* OK, I'm ready to go now!  
  
King: Pie tastes good in the morning *snort* huh? Oh, ok. Let's go………  
  
Link: Ok. *gets on King and starts sailing* 


End file.
